I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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