..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
