Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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