dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
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He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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