Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
