Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize