tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
