Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
