I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
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I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
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We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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