Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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