video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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