I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
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Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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