Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
