smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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