How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
