the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
