she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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