yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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