Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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