We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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