I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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