Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
