literally had 100 drinks last night.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's never too late to be topless.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
