We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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