I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize