Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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