he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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