im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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