I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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