he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
