there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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