covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize