Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize