and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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