Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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