not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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