Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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