ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
