I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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