His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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