I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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