Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize