Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
