Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
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in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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