Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
