Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
