i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
