Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
