i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize