Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
