i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Houston, we have a blender
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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