i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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