She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
