i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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