its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
