I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The air taste purple.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
