i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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