jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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