I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
